Hanging prominently on a wall in my study, located squarely at eye level over my desk, is a caricature of three deliciously joyful women. A ribbon of words dances through the picture, “If Life gets dumpy, call your best friends and throw yourself a party.” Now, no one would call me “a social animal.” Small talk is not my forté. I’ve never met a boisterous cocktail party that I’ve enjoyed. Restaurants, dimly lit, crowded and noisy, don’t make me smile. I love, however, to gather friends around my table at dinnertime.
The opportunities for entertaining, as my husband’s illness noticeably progressed the past six years, have been slim to none. My life has been “on call”, needing to give attention to every crisis, dealing with emergencies as they presented themselves. No day has been my own. And, honestly, how was I going to enjoy gathering people at our table when he wasn’t at the other end of it? It was now time, I decided, to shed that skin and find out. What better way to do that than by gathering my female friends together to commemorate the upcoming 100th anniversary of International Women’s Day on March 8th.
Odds are that most of you have never celebrated IWD, nor even heard of it. Put simply, it’s a day to honor and support women’s empowerment, economically, politically and socially. In many European and Asian countries, it’s a national holiday. I was first introduced to this by my friend, Ardyth, an academic who just spent 6 months in Latvia as a Fulbright Scholar. Last March 8th, in one of our daily e-mail exchanges, she elaborated on how wonderful the day’s acknowledgement of women had been. “There were flower vendors on every corner,” she enthusiastically wrote. “Women received bouquets from their sons, their husbands, their bosses, no one was forgotten.”
(According to the CIA’s World Fact Book, there are almost 7 billion people in the world, more than half, female. Recognizing that women are the change agents who can drive peace, reconciliation, economic growth and stability, President Obama created a U.S.Ambassador-at-Large for Global Women’s Issues naming Melanne Vermeer to the post. According to a recent Boston Consulting Group survey, “Women” is the world’s largest and fastest growing market. “WE” will arguably spend more than $5 trillion over the next several years, more than the predicted growth consumer economies of India, Russia, Brazil or China! The CEO of Coca-Cola, Muhtar Kent, has committed his company to empower and train 5 million women entrepreneurs by 2020.)
I sent invitations to seven women friends, asking them to join me for dinner on March 8th. No one, except for Ardyth, had even heard of IWD but all responded affirmatively. Hey, it’s dinner, after all.
These women might all bring home the bacon, but, on this night, at least, they would not have to toss it in the pan! Although these gals are treasured personal friends, their professional credentials
aren’t too shabby either. Gathered together in my home last Tuesday evening were two PhD’s, three business owners, and two lawyers, one, also, a professional chef and judge. (Yeah, she exhausts me, too.) Among us, we have seven daughters and granddaughters. You might say we have quite an investment in women. Their only assignment was to think of the woman, past or present, they would be, if asked to change places.
I sharpened up my knives as well as my cooking skills to put together a menu. Perhaps, a “Where’s the Beef”, comfort food-evening, along with lots of vegetables, salad and pasta to satisfy any Vegetarians in the crowd. And, for dessert, a three-layer lemon torte, a Marie Antoinette – who really never said “Let them eat cake” – Moment. French Champagne. Italian Cabernet Sauvignon. For dessert, Limoncello, to honor a Sicilian guest, Adriana. My Ukrainian florist and friend, who has always celebrated IWD, created lovely table bouquets of roses, daises and tulips.
(The world produces enough food to feed everyone. Half of the world’s food is produced by women. In developing countries women harvest 60% to 80% of food crops. In Sub-Saharan Africa, 70% of the small hold farmers are women. However, according to United Nations 2010 figures, from 925 million to 1.2 billion people, almost 14% of our global population, go to bed hungry every night Dr. Helene Gayle, the CEO of Care USA, points out that 60% of the world’s one billion poorest people are women. “As recently as 1990, more than 90 percent of the world’s poor people lived in poor countries,” she says, “Today, roughly three-quarters of the world’s poor live in middle-income {emerging} countries.”)
The evening was, by all accounts, a smashing success tempered by sobering statistics. Our champagne toast was not made to “us” but to the hundreds of million of women who do not have the opportunity to be “us”. We delighted in exposing the ‘other woman within us’, from Julia Child (Michelle, my lawyer-judge-chef friend) to Mother Cabrini. “You may not know, I almost became a nun,” Adriana said, with a giggle. ( We are all still trying to get our arms around that revelation.) Linda and Kathy each chose Amelia Earhart, “but not her ending,” they said, in unison. Ellen, who devours self-help books, channeled successful California author, Louise Hay. And, Ardyth honored the achievements of Wilma Rudolph and Katherine Hepburn. I chose Madeleine Albright (that woman is all-bright on every level), Gertrude Ederle (I cannot swim), and my daughter, Melissa (wishing I had had her parenting skills). Actually, no one chose just one woman but a composite of many, thinking, perhaps, it took tiny parts of them to make one of us. The most intriguing choice was Susan’s of Kate Middleton, in all probability, England’s future queen. “I would just love to be Kate,” she said. “bringing what I know NOW to what she has the opportunity to be. What a platform. She can be and do so many good things.”
(Using UNESCO figures, there are arguably one billion non-literate adults in the world. Two-thirds of these are women. Two-thirds of the children who do not attend school are girls. Nobel Laureate Natalie Godimer calls literacy the “poverty of the intellect.”)
Prior to our sitting for dinner, I asked everyone to pick up their place cards. On them I had written a phrase which we each read aloud, round-robin style.
I, began – “The 19th Amendment to the Constitution, giving the right to vote to women”
Ellen – “took 72 years”
Adriana – “and, required 56 referendum campaigns,
Michelle – “47 campaigns to get state constitutional conventions to write women’s suffrage into state constitutions,”
Linda – “480 drives to get state legislatures to hold those referendums (5 referendum campaigns in South Dakota alone),”
Kathy – 277 campaigns to get state party conventions to include women’s suffrage planks,”
Ardyth – “30 campaigns to get presidential party campaigns to include women’s suffrage planks in their platforms,”
Susan – “and, 19 campaigns with 19 successive Congresses.”
(In the 2008 Presidential election, 56.8% of eligible Americans voted, more women than men. “Women still bear the brunt of poverty, war, disease, and famine,” Hillary Clinton recently said. “ And when it comes to the boardroom meetings, government sessions, peace negotiations, and other assemblies where crucial decisions are made in the world, women are too often absent.”)
Cudos to New York Times Columnist Gail Collins for those startling, fantastic place card statistics.