Twenty-three years ago my Aspen friend, Belinda, who was 64 at the time and considered, by me, to be elderly, shared a confidence.  “One of the secrets to aging well,” she explained, “is to have young friends.”

Belinda, a Renaissance woman, well-traveled, smart and amazingly witty, has never lacked for friends. At that moment in time, she was inviting me to join her friendship circle. I was the young buckette and delighted to have an opportunity to know her better.

To this day, I consider her to be one of those treasured crown jewels who has added depth, perspective and meaning to my life. While I will always be her younger friend, the tables have now turned and I find myself remembering her wise words.

Do not misunderstand.  Long-time friends are important, essential and irreplaceable.  In the past seven years, my dearest school friends, Mary Ann and Gayle, have stepped up to revitalize faded friendships, providing me emotional support as well as nostalgic laughter. There’s something about friends you’ve known since fourth grade that is priceless.

I’ve also held tightly  to older friends, Dotty, Betty and Ruth, for example, who provide good counsel and wisdom. Nothing fazes these women although I sometimes test them mightily.   Distance has only strengthened, not lessened, my 25-year relationship with Canadian friends, Jean and Kent.  http://millerharding.com/   We Americans could take a few lessons about “enveloping worldliness”  from our neighbors to the North.  And, I’ve previously written of my Aspen bonds that remain unbroken:  https://www.lightsonbrightnobrakes.com/you-can-go-home-again/

According to the Drs. Oz and Roizen, The You Docs, “Socializing and laughing with friends can cut your odds of memory loss in half, and make you twice as likely to avoid disabilities that could cramp your late-life style. Socializing,” they say, “boosts your chances of staying mobile and being able to manage everything from meals to meds by a whopping 150 percent. Staying mentally, physically, and socially active helps keep both your brain and body pumped up and tuned in.”

So, my advice?  Keep building up your friendship circle and set your sights on some young people, ten to twenty years younger. Plug into their vitality while realizing their frame of reference is a decade or two apart from yours. Feed off their energy and point-of-view. Honor and understand their differences. Amazon, to them, is not a river. Columbine is a Colorado high school not its state flower. Gloria Steinem, one of the most important women of my generation, is 77 years old. Say, who? Jimmy Carter is a kindly, elderly man who builds houses. Most of them have never asked nor had to tell.  https://www.beloit.edu/mindset/  

Now, don’t be silly about this.  Act your age. Dress your age. Be your age.  Enjoy young friends for what you may offer each other.  Know when to put up borders, draw the line or fade away.

I am wealthy in young friends. While it’s up to them to say how I enhance their lives, I’m quite clear about what they offer me on a daily basis. Some examples…….

Blanca, an Aspen neighbor, moved, with her family, onto our block ten years ago. Having anointed myself the Silver King Drive Welcome Wagon, I baked brownies and arrived at her doorstep. Instant. It was instant. I love people with passion and she is passionate about, well, about everything.  Blanca is contagious.

As are part-time Aspenites Mindy and Dale, professional artists whose talent is only surpassed by their kindness.  http://www.karlhollinger.com/   I am Iowa. They are South Beach.  I am  dazzled by their creativity and ideas.  They attempt to keep me from being “so yesterday.” ( With mixed results)

I pick my battles with my younger Colorado friends who are athletes, Luky, Cathy and Donna.  No, I cannot hike up Aspen Mountain. Yes, I could manage Smuggler Mountain and ride my bike to Woody Creek Tavern.  These are not women who suffer Wimps but, for the sake of friendship, they slow down and permit breathing.

Are you getting the picture?

In Ray, my Nevada neighbor, I have a friend who sees the world through rose-colored glasses. He’s generally upbeat.  Always happy.  This is a man I could live with, and, yes, I’ve asked.  Michelle, my fanatical foodie friend, has cajoled me into trying six different kinds of oysters and all sorts of weird food.  I do not like oysters nor eat food I cannot spell.

Every week my tech-savvy pals, Kathy (374 friends) and Ellen (635 friends), try to find me Facebook buddies. I have 31. They need to work harder. Greg, while trying to keep me fit, gets pummeled with more medical questions than my doctors. He does his homework and usually comes up with sensible answers. Medicare, be damned. And, Adriana, who lives nearby and is also an early riser, checks to see that my lights are on by 5:30am.  If my lights aren’t on bright, she calls. I am serious.

“A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.”  Walter Winchell